How I created my own happiness. | Guest Post

I would like to start by saying this is my first time contributing to a blog. My name is Kelly, I have 2 daughters, and a wonderful husband (for the most part, ha!) With this being the start of 2017, I have been reflecting on what could have been better in my life and past experiences. I always try to be a non judgmental person, but sometimes it does happen, we ALL make mistakes.

I encourage my children to be themselves if it means being different, which sometimes you get a world of emotion from, because you are proud of them, but you also see how rude some kids can be towards them, then tell them it won’t matter. If I had a nickel for every time my mom told me that….. anyways, that’s one of the things I want to talk about.

What the heck is happening to the world, when did people become so less caring with one another? I have been picked on for things my whole life, if it wasn’t one thing it was another. After a while you just have to stop caring and think about what happened to this person to have them tear someone else down so bad. Once I stopped reacting, is when I noticed more people coming passing through my life. It’s a sad thought, but it’s the truth.

Some people (at my old work we liked to refer to them as rain clouds) are so insecure then just want to tear you apart, you just have to find the confidence to shine over their cloud, and realize you don’t need this in your life, you only get one– so shine as much as possible! It’s taken me a long time to get where I am, watching everyone around me succeed, and I always seemed to find the short end of the stick. At least I thought so, but each day I wake up and look at what I have, and yes another person might have more, but they don’t have what I do or what you do.

You have the power to create your own happiness, and I am starting to find that out. I have spent years searching on what made me happy, finding a purpose in life, wanting something and then wanting something completely different. When deep down I should have thought about what I have and learned to appreciate it verses trying to find what I thought would temporary fill my selfish voids.

I also have to learn to accept that I will not succeed at everything, we as people can have goals, we just have to keep them within reach. I will say, I do put every ounce of myself in something I believe in, but also have to accept you can’t please everyone. I love to build people up, if it’s just a simple compliment or a shoulder to cry on. I feel like we are losing that quality with one another. People will also come into your life and try to tear you down, which only makes you stronger, but that still doesn’t make it right. I just want to ask someone “what happened in your life that makes it ok for you to be so heartless to others”. I used to (and still do) hold grudges towards them, I did say I was human lol, I am trying to understand that maybe they have some deep down insecurity issues and maybe it’s a compliment they are pointing out the weakness’ you may have?

Back to the point of this, with a new year I want to make myself a better person, and spread my dreams on to others, I haven’t always had the best self esteem, but I have to accept it’s who I am, I have to love how I look because I am not changing it, it’s just way too expensive –lol. I want everyone to be able to see the beauty inside AND outside of themselves. I want people to interact face to face again, and just be them, not some social media mold of what they think they should be.

I have seen a lot of women in my day (hairdresser for almost 12 years), and as sad as it is, some don’t care about the hair as much as they say, “can you make me look like her, can you make me have less wrinkles”, we have to learn we are beautiful the way we are, but yes sunscreen and wrinkle prevention lotions are completely acceptable! We are going to grow old it’s going to happen! We are all the same on the inside, and we are one of a kind on the outside. Embrace it!

Love every scar or mark on your body because it’s yours and sometimes it comes with a great story. Learn to accept others for who they are.

My name is Kelly, I struggle with adult ADHD (if you can’t already tell my reading this message that’s bouncing back and fourth), I have made many mistakes in life, many people disliked me or tried to change me because of them, but I don’t care. I try to live everyday to the fullest, even with my struggles, and I hope by my ramblings I have inspired one person to look in the mirror and think they are beautiful!

It breaks my heart to have so much dislike in the world, so our voting views are not the same, I, myself, like to find people who didn’t vote for the same candidate, and hear their side. So our religious views are different that is not for you to decide if I am right or wrong, for the most part, also stem from the same book. You are not going to change my mind, but let’s have an adult conversation on what it does for you. It’s easier to say how you feel now days with social media because it takes the physical confrontation out of it, but we can be very mean on that because you might not see them ever in your life so it’s easier to speak your mind.

My wish is that we just don’t lose who we are in the process, I’m sure most of us are kind people, so why get irritated if someone can’t see things through your eyes. (That would be my husband trying to explain something to me, and I don’t agree with what he is saying ). Just remember to love those you care for often, smiles are contagious, make eye contact with those, and put the phones down sometimes and just look at how beautiful this world is, then you can take a selfie because if you are a working parent like myself you will forget how amazing that moment of silence was!

–Kelly Kramer, Guest Blogger

Kelly is part of our guest blogger series on The Lake Country Mom. This blog post is part of The Lake Country Mom #REALLIFESERIES. This was written by a local mom, Kelly Kramer and she was willing to share her story.