Christmas morning magic with my kids I totally get it, and we make the best of it.
I’ll never forget this day in particular because it was a relatively nice day, warm for us, blistering for my poor Mom. I picked my oldest up from school early and we went for a quick lunch and then to the airport to pick Bama up. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking it’s not so easy to run out without make up anymore and fluffed up my hair, threw on some hot pink lipstick and kept my sunglasses on. Isabella and I still hold hands quite often, so I grabbed her hand and we started walking towards the building, we had parked in the cell phone lot and were making a run for it.I felt someone looking at me. But not just looking, burning a hole in me. I actually felt my face flush and inexplicably felt hot, my heart started to thump in my chest. Isabella let go of my hand and commented that I was all clammy. She asked if I felt sick, I shook my head and looked around and bam! there he was. My ex boyfriend. The man that wrecked me more times than I can count, in more ways than I can remember. The boy that was my everything. The young man that introduced me to my husband, whom I am blissfully happy with, and more in love with today than I was yesterday. I’m one of the lucky ones that lives the fairytale. So seeing my ex and the physical reaction I had to seeing him before I even realized I was seeing him caught me off guard. Without thinking I called out his name. He, the consummate egomaniacal jerk that he evidently still is looked at me and said “Do I know you?” I should have walked away, but I said my name, and we talked for a few minutes. His friend and my daughter standing there as we awkwardly talked to each other, pretending like our 11 years of knowing each other wasn’t a major portion of our lives and we were not fire and ice when we were together… We were the perfect example of teenager melodrama. My parents wanted him out of my life, which only made him more attractive. I was the only one that understood his angst, I knew he needed me in a way my parents could never understand. Our friends used to call us Brenda and Dylan. Something I loved in the moment, but as an adult just roll my eyes at. I introduced him to my daughter, saying a silent thank you that he is not her father, then we ran off, hand in hand to meet my Mom.
Six months ago I was sitting in Starbucks waiting to have coffee with a friend and in walked an old friend of mine. She had her children with her, and it struck me how time flies. She and I were the best of friends, another friend once commenting that we were practically dating. Our husbands were very good friends and she and I naturally just became friends. I loved her. She practically knocked the door down when Isabella was born and it went badly, me ending up in an emergency C Section facing massive blood loss and a baby at risk. She was just always there. I was her first visitor when her son was born, and I called her when a friend died and broke the news to her. We were sisters. And then we were not. When I saw her walk into Starbucks that day a few months back I felt so sad. We had drifted apart and I didn’t even miss her. I didn’t even get up from my chair to say hello, instead I hid in my phone, hoping she didn’t notice me. I imagine she did, then thought to herself she would quickly grab her drink and get out fast and hope I didn’t look up from my phone and notice her. I can’t tell you when our friendship came to this, but I can tell you why.
Our friend died, her husband cheated, my husband distanced himself from him because he didn’t want to be part of that lifestyle, she had trouble conceiving, Isabella was unexpected and never planned for (best surprise ever!) Life. Life happened and we drifted apart. I looked her up on Facebook, it took some digging, but I found her. She’s divorced with 2 children now, which surprised me, but I suppose she would be shocked to know I have 3. I friend requested her, then I canceled it. Then I did it again, then I canceled it. I must have repeated this 5 or 6 times. Then, suddenly she was gone. She blocked me. Obviously there is more to the story of our parting than I realize because I never dreamed of doing something as drastic.
I was on Facebook just a day or two ago and there in my inbox was a blast from the past. The girl I got my fake ID with. The girl that was there for me to cry and drink too much wine every time that boyfriend and I broke up. She was a pivotal part of my life. I don’t think I would have emerged from the 11 year on again / off again relationship as strong as I did if it had not been for her. She sent me a friend request on Facebook, and a private message. She explained why she suddenly stopped talking to me 18 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 26 years old, had newly met my husband, and was on the way to break up number 100, this time for good because my husband and I could not stay away from each other. (As I always tell him it took 11 years of something bad for me to find my lifetime of something extraordinary.) She told me she felt she owed me an explanation, she sent me a photo of her 17 year old son.
Hi! I’m Ali (pronounced alley). I’m 40 (something) – live in Oconomowoc with my husband of over more than 15 years, 3 kids, 1 “senior citizen” cat, Gus, and a 2 year old Jack Russel, Tubbs. We lead, as everyone does, a hectic life of carpools, sports, social activities and much coveted downtime! My oldest starts High School in the fall (I am not certain how that happened as she was really only just born!)
As a private caterer/event planner I am known for over the top crazy themed parties for kids and adults and I am thrilled to be joining The Lake Country Mom to share all things party, tips and tricks, and quick and easy recipes. I keep threatening to start a blog, and this may push me to actually do it, when I do I’ll be sure and let you know! Until then you can find me here!