In an effort to celebrate motherhood, I am featuring anyone willing to write about their life as a mom, it can be to inspire others, a great story to share, the ups and downs of being a mom, anything you’d like to share. We hope to continue to receive stories like this up until Mother’s Day….
Being a work-from-home full-time, stay-at-home mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. There are days where I am trying to respond to emails, and I am listening to my toddler yelling in the background, while the infant is trying to sleep next to me, but is not, because the clicking of the keyboard is too loud. There are times when I think to myself, “Why did I think this could work?”
The hardest part of my day is when I have a list of things to do a mile long, but they are not just for work. That is manageable. It is the list that is on the other side of the page that is housework. Once I combine that with taking care of a two-year-old and a five-month old all day, suddenly I want to just go back to bed. How am I supposed to get my 10 hours of work done, and do the grocery shopping, and take care of the kids all in one day? Is this even possible? Why did I think this could work?
Once I get through a majority of emails and respond to a few voicemails, the day is usually close to 3PM; most people get all that done in the first hour or two at the office. Suddenly I realize that I have nothing for dinner, and that the toddler will be up soon, and I better have a snack or bear-the-rath of the angry, crabby two year old. Of course this is usually the same time my phone starts ringing because people who emailed me hours ago have not gotten a response. I think to myself “I will email you back later tonight – call you tomorrow, I have a baby to feed and a toddler that is waking up.”
Around 6:30pm is when my husband comes home. I sit and watch the clock like a 7th grader waiting to get out of school. I am waiting for some help, some relief, some adult conversation! His job involves customers, and if he has a “walk-in” right at closing, he can be late…really late some nights. Sometimes I feel bad if I get angry when he is late. Some days I don’t feel bad for getting angry. The kids need to eat, get a bath, brush teeth, we need to eat, clean up the kitchen, clean up the toys, oh and I have about three hours of work to do tonight after the kids go to bed – taking away all my time with my husband. Each minute that he is late getting home is another minute that we could have been closer to “quiet time”. Again I think to myself, “Why did I think this could work?”
Every once in a while, I realize why this actually works. It is the days when my daughter has to go to the doctor because she is sick, and I don’t have to panic and find a way to get out of work and take her there. Or when I can cuddle with the baby at every feeding. Or when I read about a cool event for toddlers going on downtown that day, I don’t need to say “ugh I wish I didn’t have to work today”, because on most days, I can just do the work at night. Then I think to myself, “This is why it works.”
Don’t get me wrong. I have come to learn a lot about working from home full time, and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. It takes everything in me to keep working and not stop to go watch TV, rake the yard, take a nap, or just not work. I actually miss working in an office. I miss buying clothes for work, I miss talking with people about things as silly as a TV show, I miss rushing to get to work, I even miss driving (alone in the car that is)!
But it is worth it. My kids will grow up and remember me being at home. They won’t remember the long nights I stayed awake designing ads, or emailing clients at 3AM. They won’t remember the frantic pace I worked at while they were napping, but they will remember me being here when they woke up. They will remember the mid-day walks, and times at the park, and that somehow we had dinner together each night. They will remember that their mom was home when they needed me, and that makes it all work. -Katie, Guest Blogger
Thank-you, Katie for sharing!
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