Be kind to yourself and be selfish.

Before I get into my first blog post for The Lake Country Mom, I just want to say how thankful and blessed I feel to be a contributor. It is amazing when women can rally together and support one another with no judgement, and I am proud to be a part of that. 

As you get to know me through blogging, you’ll learn that I am honest and judge no one. In return, I expect the same from others and know that I will find that mutual respect through all of you amazing followers. For this reason, with my first blog, I have decided to share my story after I had my daughter Emmy.

Emmy is my second, and final child who will be turning two this June. And I so desperately wish I could write and say how wonderful these past two years have been, but they were not. They were filled with worry, struggle, darkness and I am just now finally seeing the light, almost two years later.

After my son Jackson, I had been warned by my OB about postpartum depression and anxiety. However, I cruised through Jackson’s first year and had never felt better. I welcomed the sleepless nights and midnight feedings. I didn’t understand how other women couldn’t feel anything but joy, happiness and love.  With Emmy though, I just didn’t feel right. I wasn’t me and it was terrifying. I woke up afraid every single morning. I was afraid of what the day would bring and was convinced something terribly awful would happen to Emmy or Jackson. I was even afraid of my own thoughts. I didn’t want to be me, I wanted to run away. My heart hurt with the love I had for Jackson and Emmy, and with that came a tremendous amount of anxiety.  I would text my dear friend every day and tell her how horrible inside I was feeling. I was ashamed and afraid to get help, but knew I needed it and was so thankful to have her encourage me to do so.

I finally saw my OB and he could see I wasn’t myself. I remember crying in his office and feeling so guilty for feeling the way I felt. I shouldn’t be feeling so anxious, I was blessed with two beautiful healthy children, a loving husband and amazing family. I should be happy! Society has conditioned many of us to believe mental illness is not real, but let me tell you, it is the realest thing a person can experience and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful OB, an amazing therapist and psychiatrist who specialized in postpartum depression/anxiety, as well as a support group of other moms going through just what I was and some incredibly supportive people in my life (you know who you all are!). I learned I wasn’t alone.

It is hard for me sometimes to look back and feel like I missed out on what should have been some of the happiest days of my life. I lost a lot of precious time. But from those dark days, I can share my story and say there is hope and you aren’t alone. I can raise awareness and say don’t be ashamed if you are struggling and need help. Ask for help, lean on your family, friends, or even lean on me if you need to. I’m here for you.

My 2018 new year’s resolution was that 2018 was going to be the year of Kara. And three months in, I can say it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself. I started eating healthier, working out, and giving myself a well deserved break from being a mom/wife/employee without feeling guilty. Being “selfish” has been so good for my soul and everyone around me has seen the difference. And as corny as this is, I reference what flight attendants say, if you lose cabin pressure, you have got to put the mask on your face first before you can help your kids or anyone else. It is so true in everyday life.

{mom life}

Being a mom is a 24/7, 365 day, womb to the tomb job. It never ever turns off for us moms. It is hard, rewarding, and an amazing gift.  The most valuable lesson I have learned through this experience is that being “selfish” is the most unselfish thing you can do for yourself and your family. Be kind to yourself and be selfish. And don’t ever forget that you are not alone.

-Kara Plowman

Kara Plowman

I’m a native Bostonian living the American dream in the Midwest. I’m a wife to Andy, Mom to Jackson, Emmy and our pug pup Bo, and a reality TV junkie. When I’m not working or spending time with family you will find me getting my nails done, shopping, cooking/ baking or sending memes to my besties. I love all things fashion, beauty and interior design! I rely heavily on Instagram for my inspiration. I have fallen in love with the Lake Country area and all it has to offer and am thrilled to be a contributor at the Lake  Country Mom! // Follow on Instagram